6/9/10
It was midnight, I couldn't sleep because I couldn't breathe. And in the seconds a bullet can pierce through skin, I remembered the significance of the last page of her diary. The date stated at the top of the page was that of the day she died. I walked the mile to her house, finding comfort in the humid air and the serenity that was created by the soft golden glow of the streetlights that illuminated the streets. In her backyard, I climbed through her ground-level window. I traced my fingers across the wall while my eyes stood on the place in the room where the bed is, though it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. I turned the light on and headed toward the box labeled Trash. I found the diary under old school work and photos. The diary wasn't locked. I opened to the back. My feelings are set in stone, but I don't know how to tell her. My hands were shaky and my breathing, uneven. Today, I am telling her I love her. I dropped the diary and fell. I awoke the next morning feeling nausea. My heart was broken. I sat up, my back against the bed and banged my head against the frame. "How the hell did you get in here ?" I heard. It was the infuriated voice of her mother. I was dazed, I just ignored her. "Get out !" "You know, I never understood why she hated you," I said, without looking at the bitch that raised the most amazing girl I've ever met, "Maybe it was because you were never around so I never even really spoke to you. But I understand now...." "What ?" She asked in disbelief. "You don't love her, you don't care about her. You're a heartless, cynical, selfish bitch. You didn't deserve her. You know why she killed herself ? No ! Because you didn't know her. She killed herself because she wanted to kill you. ....And she loved me and I loved her. And now shes gone and it's all your fault. You ruined her life and mine." I charged out of her room, out the door, and as soon as I got outside, I ran. And I cried. And I ran and cried. And I ran and cried all the way home.
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I awoke to the calm breeze that came through the open window, the air was fridged, but the blankets offered a safe haven from natures icy fingers. I laid in bed all morning, day dreaming of the events that where planned for this afternoon, I could hardly keep my eyes off the ticking clock. Why did time always seem to betray me? When I finally managed to drag myself from the warmth into the unforgiving cold I stole a quick glance outside to see that the green had been replaced with the void white of snow. I quickly headed to my dresser for aid in the protection against the cold, but regardless of what I put on I couldn’t warm myself. I started to worry that maybe leaving the window open last night had brought me sickness as a reward, so I felt my forehead with the back of my fridged wrist. All I could feel was the cold sweat of worry across my brow. I rushed downstairs in seek of my mothers aid, silently I thought to myself “she cold explain this, she always explained every thing so perfectly”, but she was no where to be found. I rushed out the front door to check if her car was gone. To my surprise it was in the driveway, covered in an inch of snow. I looked at the road, not even one tire track. I headed back inside in search of my phone. I headed upstairs and entered my room, there my phone was just as I had left it the night before sitting on the night stand. I opened my phone and admired my background picture, it was of the only person I had ever truly loved, she was my every thing and I would never be able to work up the courage to tell her. I feared what she might think if she had known that my love was beyond that of a friend. I opened the contacts section of my phone and pressed the down arrow till I reached my mothers number. The phone rang until the answer machine picked up. My mother never missed my calls; my mind started racing with worry. I started calling other people in my contacts, but none answered and as I went on my fingers became numb with cold. Why was the cold so persistent? I was starting to see my own breath fog before my eyes. I finally decided to call her, the only person in my phone with a “ <3” next to it, but even she had forsaken my call. My worry along with the cold brought the tears. All I could do was cry at the side of my bed from the loneliness that I was suffering.
A doctor dressed in a very fine white coat walked slowly down the pearly white corridor when he came to the end he took a left and presumed to walk at his slow speed. After a minute or two of walking he came to a door that read “Room 28” he turned the knob and opened the door. Before he could speak the lady sitting in the chair with blood shot eyes asked in a quiet tone “How long will my daughter remain sleeping”? The doctor simply replied “Forever”.
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