But when I got home, it didn't hold the same comfort I needed. So I grabbed my car keys and headed for the most perfect place I could imagine, wherever she was. The graveyard was deserted of people. It was eerie and desolate and smog floated over the ground. Stones with letters guided me. I found her extravagant grave- something she would have hated.
"Madi, I'm sorry. Madi, I....i didn't know. Madi, you're my best friend. Madi, I miss you. Madi, I need you. Madi, I love you. Madi, I'm in love with you." I recited. I told her everything of what happened in the passed few days. I told her of her funeral, which she would have hated. I told her of her mother. I told her of her hideous tombstone. I told her of how I read her diary. I told her I was sorry about that. I told her how I felt. Then, I sat on her grave and cried for hours.
It was far passed dark when I left, I discovered when I got in her car, it was one twenty-three in the morning. And I discovered how fast time passed and I wanted to get back out of my car and tell her that, but I couldn't. I drove home and when I walked in the door, I walked directly to the kitchen. I grabbed the first knife I could and walked to the bathroom with it. I set it on the counter as I undressed. My hands felt every curve of my body. I grabbed the knife and got in the bath tub. Turned the shower to the hottest temperature it would allow. The knife slit horizontal cuts on my ankles, my wrists, and starting between my collar bones, I dragged the knife straight down my torso. My last cut, an incision around my neck. "Madi, I'm sorry. Madi, I....i didn't know. Madi, you're my best friend. Madi, I miss you. Madi, I need you. Madi, I love you. Madi, I'm in love with you. Madi, I'm coming for you. Madi, I'll see you in a little while." And I slid as I let go of every hurt I ever felt. Madi, I'm coming for you....