bloo

your unsuccessful attempt to rope me back in was just that, a tragic failure to make me feel something you had- loss.
somehow, i dont feel much these days. ive returned back to y old days of compromise with my sullen loneliness. i hardly ever cry. i sleep alone. im okay. so while you reach realizations and come to conclusions that we both messed up and you would rather have some of me than none at all, just don't try to drag me in. it wont work.
have you already forgotten? i tried to reconcile the pain. i apologized over and over again, but you were to blind to realize that was all i could do. there was nothing else i could give you. i was never any less than honest with you. i gave you what i could and all you gave in return at the end was bitterness over something i could not control- my heart.
even now, ive given you the chance i don't believe you deserved. but i guess you changed your mind- what you hold against me...

and you just feel it

im not sure what she meant
when she mentioned the fence
or when she stuttered that her emotional state
had no defense.
so, i let go of her then.

My tongue could never touch
such wisdom
I can feel the words urging to push their way up
through my esophagus
Oh, the delicate edges of these beautiful words
My teeth are giving in on their resistance.

Sparks on my fingertips
The delicate skin on skin contact
when you hold them
I could never be so lucky
I could never win
But I'm feeling it.

whose strong and whose weak?

the worst fucking part
is the facts
only being able
to stare at the noose in my closet
not see the other side of it
because you need me
not want or love.

the fact never drowns out the sorrow
it doesnt comfort,
it only borrows

time

but sooner than later,
the fact i always used to justify staying alive
will no longer prosper
and ill find my way to the sea
ill find my way to angel wings
and fly
oh god, i cant wait to die.

Weak girls with their weak knees
hoping if they give a boy everything
theyll mean something

i tried to tell you
you were worth more
i tried tell you
you were beautiful

but it meant nothing
if it wasnt from him
consumed by need
she'd give anything
as he watched her bleed

i tried to reconcile
with the pain that she had
when i told her i loved her
it pissed her off instead