I didn't want to tell him that what he loved was a lie. That every reaction was an overreaction- so scripted our relationship could be the next hit series.
I was detached, but felt amazing when I was with him, but didn't want to see him when given the choice because afterward I felt I was striving the whole time to be something he could put his arm around and not worry what others would think; that even throughout my trying- he still wasn't happy with certain aspects I couldn't get around, so he lied.
But I'm guilty of believing there are ways he could improve as well. But I never lied about him. And I'm not going to force him to change anything about him.
But he gets so angry sometimes and I feel so broken; against his lack of perfection, I'm still endlessly infatuated and his departure would push me over the line.
I don't think I believe in that. Why ? Because everyone whose ever told me they loved me left.