The way your ribs strangled your internal organs, and how feeling something was a war between your head and your heart. When everything you knew and loved perished, or changed. The razors that slit your wrists and how you still wish you felt it. Timing the length in which you can exhale, and noting how you felt afterward: its dizzying relief. The saturation that made it hard to breathe, but definitely made me think: I wish this was a permanent thing.