I spent my nights hallucinating- her slender figure appearing translucent white, holding out her hand and smiling "Remember those nights we spent holding each other, so terrified of the thunderstorm that droned on ? We would awake the next morning, what would happen the prior night ?" And I'd follow her, so amazed, out of my bedroom, down the hall, down the dark cherry stained wood floor stairs, through the foyer, unlocking the front door, and out onto the front deck. I'd follow her eery silhouette down the street. We would walk through the neighborhood, the full moon lighting our path, speaking of what happened the day she.... passed away. She stroke a cleaning spree, washed every crack and crevice in the house, until it was literally spotless. Her family was gone, as usual. She ignored everyone's calls and texts. And, most importantly, she smiled throughout it all. Then when she approached the kitchen with the utmost desire to make it sparkle, she came across a shiny silver knife. It drew her in. Her hand reached for it mechanically, slowly. She gripped the handle, brought it inches from her face for close inspection. She took a few steps to the stainless steel sink. ....And tested its sharpness on her wrist. The pain shot up through her arm and to her heart, lungs expanding, the smell of iron as blood dripped into the sink. But she embraced it, the pain. She felt something and thats what she wanted. A sense of revelation coursed through her. Still, she never looked down. She blanked, and the next things she remembers is standing in the bathroom, fiery hot shower water steaming the bathroom, while she quietly undressed herself. Then, she glanced at the counter, there, was the blood stained knife. She dropped her dainty panties, grabbed the knife, looking straight ahead toward the tub, and inched. Her curves moved in slow motion over the wall of the bathtub, sliding down, slipping the white shower curtain in place. She found comfort; the water was burning her skin, but she lay her head back and sighed with relief.