I spilled.

I told her it was uncontrolable.
She said I was wrong.
She said nothing is uncontrolable.

It'll take time, I said.
You have time, she said.
It doesn't feel like it, I replied.

How ?

She was confused
as was I

I told her everything -
from the thougts that bloom in my head,
to the words that slip through my teeth.

Every word brought a new feeling,
all bad.

It felt like a recurring nightmare,
because it was.
I knew it like
I know the back of my hand.

I felt the walls close in on us.
My thoughts grew in to a horrible beast.

And just as fast as it began - it ended.
I wanted more to listen to
even though I didn't feel like I was paying
full attention.

But it was over.
No more tears fell.
My heart stopped beating as hard.
Everything was quiet.

Even after all that -
an hour ?

I felt the same -
I feel the same.